Baby’s airways are smaller then their pinky (i believe). They require a two finger width between their chin and chest to breathe safely. This is also true when you’re baby wearing, or when they are in a baby seat.
If your baby’s head is dropping in either situation, fix it. One solution is to roll a hand towel or burp cloth to prop right behind their necks. Another solution is to just lay them on a flat surface. My babies sometimes like a pillow under their knees and they’ll sleep longer. If your baby has reflux and doesn’t like being flat on his back, you could prop him up (on something appropriate) and still put a pillow under his knees, but you run into the same problem of a droopy head.
My favorite thing to do is to wear a baby, because it’s easiest to monitor them. But I know it’s just not always possible.
Most of us are in the fourth trimester (first three months of baby’s life). Once you pass month three, somehow the fog lifts and life gets much more manageable. For most of us, after-birth pain will be gone, hormones will stabilize, and baby will establish a routine if you’re respectful and observant of how he communicates with you.
Take it easy on yourselves! It’s hard right now, but you’ll bounce back soon! And you’ll miss the earliest snuggles your baby can give you, these are very dependent little creatures who still accept all your kisses and hugs without any protest. The day will come when he will wipe your kiss away, and say “no!” to a hug, even if he’s kidding! You’ll realize how precious and short these days are! The baby grunts, the tiniest yawns, the fuzzy chicky hair… the squirmy body, the tiniest hands and feet. I love all of it!
Try to drink it in, even though you’re fed up, exhausted, sleep deprived, malnourished, dirty, smell foul, and covered in stale milk. Drink it in, even though the laundry is piling, and people are pushing you around, and you’re unsure of everything. Drink it in, even though you don’t know which way is up, and you’re making mistakes, and you’re forgetting things. Try to take a deep breath and drink it in. Make a decision to draw in your baby right now and bond together in bed as much as you can.
Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Close your ears to criticism. Do what you feel is right and best.
Appreciate your mangled body. God used it to give you a baby. So love your body back. Take a shower. Say thanks to the tears that fall – let them fall. They are a sign that you care deeply. No, you’re feelings aren’t flaccid and flat. Your feelings are full of emotion. And that’s good. If you’re drowning in depression, call for help. It’s okay to need help. It’s crucial you get it. We ALL need help.
And now, Mama, find your voice. Deep inside, regardless how you feel on the surface, God has made you a lioness. I know this because He made you a mother. He placed instincts in you that equip you for this high calling. You must find your voice and let it rise. You AND your minime need you to find your voice. You now represent two. Or three. Or twelve. Regardless of how many children you have born, or buried, your children need your voice to be kind and gentle, and firm and strong, and patient and generous, and clear and determined.
Raise a glass to you today. You deserve the fireworks.