Do you have many kids? I have four. It gets easier. Toddlers are hard! Babies are hard! Kids are hard!
My oldest is almost 8. He was a TOUGH toddler. But if a tough toddler means I’ll have an 8 year old like this, I’ll take him any day of the week! The awesome thing is that he WANTS to do the right thing. His moral compass developed this past year.
He was strong willed and high spirited. I mean STRONG-WILLED! Last night all my boys watched a nature show with me, and my oldest wanted to hold my hand. What a true pleasure! And now he helps keeps all three younger siblings in line and doing well (not to say we are without moments of teasing and fighting – Plenty of that happens!! – but he genuinely cares for his siblings.)
Pic below is him with our baby.
As a parent, he put my training wheels on. I know there are tougher kids than him, but he was (and can still be) really tough.
As a tot, he used to get upset when he was disappointed. Upset meant a full on 30-45 min meltdown… screaming, sobbing, trying to hit me. He’s also a sensory seeker. That curbed around 3.5 yo, along with the development of some impulse control and understanding for delayed gratification. He’s incredibly bright… and always wanted and wants to know why and how… when meant he was always experimenting in his world… and creating problems for me. He needed to know where the arrow was pointing, so to speak.
Love and logic helps me a lot for him and younger kids.
Also, we did a ton of “peacetime”, visualizations, and time in’s when he was a tot. Tons of affirmations too. We still do these. We did lots of massage to reconnect – All my kids have enjoyed and still love these. I tomato-stake my kids when they are disagreeing. This diffuses things.
Now that you’re managing a tot plus a baby, it helps to have busy bags available that you take out ONLY when you’re occupied with the baby… something you know your toddler will love!
Look up http://www.activemamas.wordpress.com and search ^^^ those terms. Some of our early pre-K education is in that blog too.
Hope this helps some of you with these trying times!