What does a baby mean to you?
Before you were a mom, what did you think of children?
Now that you’re a mom, how did your perspective change?
I’m curious to know your answers because there’s no good way to anticipate how a baby changes your life. I will share the following with you (written when Micah was 4 months old:
I have a secret to share: my baby ruined my life.
He’s given me a greater appreciation for my parents and all they did to sacrifice for me. Now I know how they felt when I laughed or cried, was happy or mad, apathetic or really tried hard, or disappointed them or made them proud. I know how much care they had when considering my every step like if I was crawling well, what shoes I should wear, school I should go to, or if I was marrying a man who loved me just as much as they do. Praise God, he does!! And he loves our son just as much!!
Our son has made me appreciate my birth mother more, because she sacrificed her body for me and then gave me to a better home so I could be loved by my parents.
He’s even made me appreciate time more, because it’s a commodity. And sleep. And being able to do things with two hands.
He’s made me more considerate, more intentional, more thoughtful, more giving, less selfish, more motivated, more creative, more silly, more merry, have better perspective, more balanced, and less lazy… and even more thankful for my husband whom I already adored.
Finally, he has made me aware of Christ’s relationship and love for me as a ‘Father’. I am humbled. I have the utmost respect for Abraham who, hearing God’s instruction, in faith went to sacrifice his son. Now I know why he was considered one of the fathers of faith. Wow. I can sense how God’s heart breaks when we cry out as his children, or even reject him. I am floored.
As a result, I try to manage my life better. I do the best I can for him, for my husband and for me. I try to treat people the best I can with honesty and without pretense. I freely admit my faults. I listen better.
I try to keep a cleaner home and keep up with laundry and dishes – these are activities I used to resent. Instead, I view them as a way to care for my family now. I am still really bad about ironing clothes but working on it.
I try to control better our intake of nourishment. I exercise more regularly because I want to be able to run with him as he grows older.
I’m far more interested in quality versus quantity now. I have an even better sense of why age and experience bring wisdom.
I realize even more why it’s important to be a life-long learner. I count my pennies more carefully because I want him to be able to go to college.
I’m a softened Type-A, slowly cutting out senseless activities to make room for more meaningful ones. I start each day with an agenda, but if he needs me, I stop. I’m okay with that. I realize everything can wait.
I’ve slowed down to appreciate things and find new happiness in old familiar things, because he’s just discovering them. For example, our dogs barking outside is endlessly entertaining to him so we linger outside so we can watch them (sorry neighbors). Another example: the grocery store has isles and isles of interesting colors and shapes and makes him squeal, so we look at packaging together and I tell him what things are. Finally, a breeze outside feels interesting in our hair, so we stop to feel the wind in our hair longer.
My list of lessons can go on for days, but these are a top few I thought I’d share with you.
This is just a short excerpt of how my son ruined my life. And I praise God for it all day long.
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